


shadows of my fear invading

by isthepartyover



Category: Dimension 20 (Web Series), Fantasy High
Genre: M/M, no feet apart because they're traumatized and need support, post pirate brawl, thats it thats the fic, two bros sitting in a van
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-26 23:40:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21627637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isthepartyover/pseuds/isthepartyover
Summary: "He just wants to rest, sleep off the terrible night and illness, but-But there's someone else there, someone else watching him, and paranoia is keeping him tethered to reality.The van stops, jerking him forwards, head colliding with something solid, and Fabian opens his eyes, ready to tell whoever's been watching him to go away.But what he finds is Riz, clutching at his arm with a grimace, and the words die in his throat."
Relationships: Riz Gukgak/Fabian Aramais Seacaster
Comments: 4
Kudos: 164





	shadows of my fear invading

**Author's Note:**

> this idea would not leave me after pirate brawl so. here u go. enjoy.

Fabian hurts.

He _hurts_ , and he feels himself still shaking despite the pile of blankets Cathilda had wrapped him in, foul taste of seawater coming back up still burning his throat.

He just wants to _rest_ , sleep off the terrible night and illness, but-

But there's someone else there, someone else watching him, and paranoia is keeping him tethered to reality. 

The van stops, jerking him forwards, head colliding with something solid, and Fabian opens his eyes, ready to tell whoever's been watching him to go away.

But what he finds is Riz, clutching at his arm with a grimace, and the words die in his throat.

"Oh. Um. Sorry." Riz says, a faint turquoise on his cheeks. "I'll tell Gorgug to easy up on the breaks when they're done in the library."

Fabian furrows his brow, his brain taking a long moment to process what was odd about the sentence.

"You're not...with them?" He asks, and Riz shrugs, looking away.

"Someone should watch out for you." Riz replies, and that same burst of anger is back in Fabian's chest.

"I don't need anyone to watch out for me." He snaps, and Riz blinks at him before his face crumples.

"I know." He mumbles, pulling his hat low over his eyes. "You're fine, you're _capable_ , I just-"

"Just _what?_ " Fabian interrupts, head aching and heart hurting too much to deal with Riz's babbling.

"I can't." Riz blurts out, going from messing with his cap to clenching his fists. "I can't be around them right now."

"Well, I don't want to be around anyone either. So." Fabian hisses, anger and hurt at himself, his own actions, leaking through. 

Everyone of the Bad Kids is someone else to disappoint, to lead to their doom, and Fabian can't deal with that, would rather them hate him than to have their blood stain his hands as well.

He goes to turn over, to try and sleep off his fever some more, but is stopped by Riz's voice.

"I can't face them because I killed Raug's mom."

Fabian's gaze snaps back to Riz at that, watches his Adam's apple bob with a swallow, face a dark teal as he continues, staring at his hands.

"I killed Raug's mom because I told-I told the Shadowcat _everything_. And you want to know why?"

Riz looks at Fabian then, clearly on the verge of sobs, and Fabian wants to tell him to stop, doesn't want more pain in his heart and head, but is stunned by Riz once more.

"Because I _love_ you. I love you _so_ much, Fabian, that I fucking sold out every goddamn thing we've learned so far to make sure you're _safe_ , and I _fucked up_ and mentioned Raug saw her, and now his mom's probably _dead_ and it's _all my fault_ because I was _selfish_ and wanted you _safe_ . And I'm _sorry_ but I-I coudnt-I-I-"

Riz stops to rub viciously at his face, shaking it vigorously, and Fabian wants to reach out, wants to say _something_ , but he's frozen with shock.

"I-fuck. You-you clearly went through a lot,and here I am-Ignore that, ignore me, I'll go-"

"I got my father's warlocks killed." Fabian finds himself saying, making Riz stop and look at him with wide eyes. "I thought-I dragged them into a fight with Captain Wicklaw, and now-now they're all dead. And I only _barely_ made it out and-and they trusted me, and I killed them. I'm no Captain."

The last words are practically a whisper, but he knows Riz hears them from the way his ear twitches, the way he sits down again when Fabian finishes talking.

There's silence in the van for a long while, nothing but the pounding of Fabian's heart in his ears, before Riz smiles, a wry, ingenuine thing.

"Guess we both screwed up bad tonight." He mutters, rubbing at his eyes again.

"Guess so." Fabian echoes.

Riz takes another long moment to shake his head and sigh, a noise that turns into a yawn.

"Get some rest." He tells Fabian, who scoffs.

"Me? How about _you?_ "

Riz grins that wry smile again, and shrugs. "Dude, you're sick as hell, and there's no way that I'm letting anyone sleep without a watch nearby again. I've gone way longer without sleep, I'll live."

Fabian purses his lips, and Riz raises his eyebrow, a challenge that Fabian doesn't think he can rise to when he does, honestly, feel like death frozen over, and he relents, lying back down. 

"I'll return the favor when I'm up." He promises, and Riz laughs, a choked sort of noise. 

"Yeah, okay." He says, though, and Fabian feels his hand smooth over the blankets atop him, gentle and soothing.

And before he drifts off, he feels lips on his temple, quick and light, but undeniably there, sending a pleasant sort of thrill through Fabian's stomach despite everything.

He's not alone, not really. 


End file.
